Lessons from the Six Month Fast

It's official. (drum roll, please) The end of Shopping Fast and Purge-the-House is upon me. On the one hand I'd like to run out and buy some of the boots I've been longing for. On the other hand it feels a little strange. After abstaining from commercialism personally for 6 months, I'm not overly eager to get back into it.

I have been thinking a lot about the point of some of my recent ventures. Wondering and questioning myself as to why I am even doing things like "purging seven items a day". What is the point? Emma asked me the very question as we were setting items on the dining room table to photograph for tonight's blog. I told her about how I wanted to help our family be free from materialism- loving things more than God or people. Then it hit me- my stuff is not my problem, my heart is. If I love my things more than God or his mission, it's not because of the things themselves. In fact, you can be consumed with greed while living in poverty, or abundantly generous while living in plenty. I don't need to purge items from my home, but idolatry from my heart, if I want to be free from materialism.

So was my experiment an unnecessary exercise? Foolish? I don't think so. Because attachment to things is an outward symptom of an inner problem- so I suppose in some ways this experiment was exposing places in my heart that need exposing. The places I can usually overlook and rationalize. Every time I said no to my usual course of spending and accumulating stuff, I had to deal with the desires I was starving. There is no denying that my shopping or "treating myself" (as I like to call it) often flows out of frustration, exhaustion or insecurity. And while buying a new pair of boots will make me feel better momentarily, it's not meant to be my primary source of comfort or encouragement. And far too often, it is. In fact, without shopping or getting little treats like a Sonic diet coke, I noticed I actually felt sorry for myself sometimes. As if it was a terrible thing to have a stressful day with no way to alleviate that stress. (Really?? I have the King of the Universe I can talk to any time, who has rescued me from all of my sin and death and I think I need something from Altar'd State to make me feel better?)

I'll be the first to tell you I did not hold perfectly to my fast or purge. But since perfect is not my goal, and utterly impossible anyway, I am not concerned about that. I set out to see if by removing some of my normal life I could create a space for wanting more of Christ. And that was absolutely a success. Not in some noble, clouds parting and sunbeams shining on me kind of way. More in a cranky, annoyed, humbling realization that I am weak and tend to seek comfort and security in so many things besides God, and yet He loves me all the same. And from that awareness I am gratefully driven back to Him.

some of the 217 items we are selling from this month

proud of my whole family for joining the purge!

Some Thoughts on Being Healthy

It's like I blinked and missed January. Have you ever had that experience? You're just plugging along in your little life and suddenly it feels like you entered a time warp and lost days or weeks with no real awareness of how. So hi. Glad to be back into normal time and my bloggy adventure.

In honor of the annual "Get Back to the Gym, Eat Healthy, Lose Weight" month (otherwise known as January) that begins our year in American culture, I have been thinking about the pressure to deal with our health as women. On the one hand, God is very clear that our lives are a gift and we are to reflect gratitude and exercise good stewardship for these ever-aging bodies while we can.  On the other hand, exactly what does that mean? Can I still eat a cheeseburger sometimes? Do I have to cut out all high fructose corn syrup, non-organic veggies, Blue Dye 40 and aspartame? And what about exercise? And how do I decide which voice to listen to in making these decisions??? (I vote Pinterest because there are constant reports of how simple it is to be healthier and most of it seems to involve crock pots, 10 minute workouts before you shower and detox water's full of yummy. Plus in all the pictures the girls abs are ROCKIN!)

So, at the risk of stepping on toes, I'd like to offer a few ideas for how to approach the concept of being healthier. Not necessarily which step for you to take, but how to evaluate taking them. And what that might look like in the realistic life of a mom/wife/worker/student.

Idea One: we can only deal with one change at a time. It's just the way most people grow and learn. We tend to make lasting changes if we pick one thing and allow ourselves to adapt to it, rather then completely overhauling everything at once. So, if you think you need to eat more vegetables, drink more water, cut out fast food and exercise 3 times a week- as slow as it feels, just pick one to begin with. Let your life and schedule and brain adapt to it. Let it become "normal" before you move on.

Idea Two: quit making it a moral issue. This is where I could risk stepping on toes, but I'm going there anyway. Unless it is a command of God's, we have personal choice to evaluate and decide what we believe works best for our life. God never says "thou shalt avoid GMO's" or "thou shalt exercise daily". Do you know where legalism comes from? It comes from taking a principal of God (like modesty, generosity, stewardship) and creating rules about how to live out that principal. I can't tell you how you should best steward your health any more than you can tell me about mine. I know you need to consider that question, as do I. But I may come to a different conclusion than you, or mainstream media or my doctor or my natural health inclined friend.

Idea Three: start with either- your most troubling area OR the one that sounds the easiest. This speaks to motivation. Depending on personality, you may be motivated more by attacking the area of your health that causes the most stress. (In my life this was my lack of energy for several years. I needed to have this problem resolved so I was willing to hit the gym at 5:15am for months to get into an exercise groove.) On the flip side, you may be more motivated by attacking the thing that feels easiest to start with. Sort of the dip-your-big-toe-in-the-pool approach. So maybe you think, I need to exercise, drink water and quit consuming large amounts of bacon. Pick the one that sounds the least difficult. (Water obviously. Bacon is delicious and exercise is hard.) Once you have some success and your water intake is up, you can move on to cutting back on pig.

Idea Four: use common sense. The internet is full, I mean FULL, of information. Some of it good, some of it nonsense. Be cautious and be aware. Listen to those whom you respect and who are generally very healthy people. Some things just make good sense- eat real food with as little chemicals as possible, over all. Move your body regularly. Sleep every night. Drink a lot of water. Get variety in your diet. Practice gratitude by thanking God for your body and how it allows you to serve Him, your family and others. Allow times for both feasting and fasting in your life, as both have value. (I feast from Thanksgiving till New Years! Then I fast, till my pants fit properly.)

Hope your 2013 is off to a bang!

Purge the House Update #2

Here are the original 56 items for my first 8 days!

So we got a family computer for Christmas from my super tech-savvy computer-smart brother-in-law Kyle and miracle of all miracle's- I can locate all the pictures I upload! (delight!) So this photo is a bit delayed but I am on track with my house purge. In fact my next post about it will probably include a picture of two weeks worth of items.  To be honest, the thing I am finding the most surprising is I am not struggling to get rid of things at an alarming rate. Now, to be fair, I have never been accused of being a pack rat. I've always followed the "if you haven't used it in a year- toss it" principal anyway. Still I thought at some point this would begin to feel tough or sacrificial, and it's strange to write, but it hasn't yet.

To me the most obvious point from that truth is- I don't need all this stuff. It's not even bothering me to get rid of it, for crying out loud! I've grown up in American suburban culture and it teaches you to stockpile stuff. Directly, indirectly and sneakily. One of my friends just posted a quote that stated:

Every advertisement you have ever watched is designed to nurture your discontentment.

Yep. And paradoxically we become more discontent the more we posses, not less. The more stuff I have, the more stuff has me. I'm not advocating sell-all-your-belongings-and-join-a-commune. Well, not exactly. It's more of a strip-away-the-needless-things-that-keep-us-from-knowing-we-need-the-Lord + be-willing-to-give-away-anything-that-someone-else-needs-when-you-don't. It's a combo of Hebrews 12 and Acts 2.  

Don't forget, if you live in my area and want to join the simplify plan too- I'll be happy to sell your items to fund my son's Nicaragua mission trip this May!             

Say Cheese!

While everyone sang Happy Birthday.....

He has just never liked having his picture made. In spite of my best efforts to show how delighted I was in him smiling for the camera for his two year "Barney" themed birthday, he remained stoic.

I love this picture because it reminds me of how often as a mom you are trying to get your beloved offspring to enjoy something they clearly do not; to satisfy a picture in your mind of what that child will do or be. Or simply because you want to share something you love with them, so you want them to love it too. A huge part of becoming a healthy and truly loving mom, is letting go of the picture of who you want your child to be, and accepting them for who they really are.

Having been at this mothering business for 17+ years now I have had to do my share of letting go of my preconceived ideas. I have found great reward in discovering who God created each of my kids to  be- both the smilers and the non-smilers alike.

couldn't you just pinch both their cheeks for the cuteness??!

Purge the House Update

Here it is in a nutshell- so far I have decided on 56 items from my home to clear out into our Nicaragua yard sale and it hasn't even been difficult yet. Really. 

I am shocked to be honest, and humbled. What I call normal, most people around the world call excess.  There are so many people who don't even own 56 items and I can part with that many without even feeling it. So, I press on with the purge. I want to live this life unfettered to possessions. I long to have space to allow God to fill with Himself. I desire a single focused life and I am a long way from it. But this is a step in the right direction for me. 56 down, 161 to go. 

Oh, and sorry there is no picture to post with this- I uploaded one of all the stuff on my table, (so you'd know that I'm being honest!) and then my computer has misplaced it into some unknown region of itself. Computers are so weird......

Hidden Dangers

Tonight's blog is brought to you by Bears. Mama Bears, to be exact. All around the world tonight there are literal and figurative mama bears flexing their muscle to keep danger away from their cubs.

The teenage years are tough. For one thing, there are hidden dangers lurking in social media everywhere which means this mama bear spends a good deal of time reading my kids facebook pages, twitter accounts and texts. (Side note, if you are not doing this, you need to. Your kids are prone to sin just like you. And without accountability, they will derail completely. With accountability they will still fail, so don't be shocked.)

Another danger comes from lies being told to our kids about what success and self worth means. My cubs are growing up in a performance based, incredibly fickle world. Without constant truth being spoken (and even with it) they are highly susceptible to believing lies about themselves such as- you don't measure up, nobody really likes you, you're so awkward, girls will never like you, your parents don't care about you, your best isn't enough, and on and on.

And this is to say nothing of the dangers in driving, drugs and alcohol, being recruited by gangs (yes, this did happen to my 9th grader this year!?), unfair teachers and coaches, bullies and impulsive decisions to jump off a roof.

But, the danger I am becoming more aware and vigilant about lately is quite sneaky. It's so subtle you almost can't recognize it. My cubs have experienced it their whole lives, as have I. And without intending to, I often collaborate with this danger. It's comfort. Being comfortable to be precise. I always felt so thankful to raise my children in a country surrounded by peace and prosperity, and I still am. But I am coming to see, the more I read the gospel and the more I see the world, that these blessings can be a trap if we begin to desire them above God.

My pastor was preaching last week from a passage in Psalm 3. He said something in his sermon that I wrote down and have being mulling over all week:

"Often we would rather have comfort without God, than trouble with Him."

This desire for a comfortable life can lead us to compromise our integrity, shy away from risks, selfishly hoard our possessions, avoid necessary conflict and betray our commitments. It can also cause us to insulate ourselves in a "bubble" away from messy broken people, live relatively good lives and become dependent on ourselves instead of reliant on God. However, over and over again in scripture God tells us this life is going to hurt. It won't always feel good. We will be stretched and bumped and bruised and emptied if we are to follow Christ. In fact, in Phillipians 3:10, Paul tells us that if we want to know Christ's power we also have to know his suffering.

If I truly want to protect my children from harm, I have to accept they will need to feel pain. They need to know sacrifice and how it hurts to give to others when there won't be any left for you. They need to know rejection so they can appreciate that Christ was rejected on their behalf so they could be accepted by God. They need to know disappointment so they can remember that this life isn't all about them getting their way. They need to know physical pain so they can develop compassion for the suffering of others. And they need their mama bear to fight against the comfortable life so it won't keeping them from knowing Him who is the source of life.

New Year Challenge

I love the first day of January because it is a clean slate. A brand new year lays out in front, ready to be lived and loved and experienced. It makes me want to clean my house so that everything is crisp and ready for a fresh start. Today however I am not bustling about cleaning because I have decided to enjoy  my last day off work for the holidays. So instead I've been mentally considering what areas need a good purging and reorganizing. I found a cool pin on pinterest about "21 days of organizing" that I think I will try. (look out medicine cabinets- I'll deal with you in an hour) 

All the thoughts of organizing and cleaning gave me an idea. It's not even my idea- it's an exercise from Seven that coincides nicely with my current urge to purge. As I considered trying this idea, it occurred to me maybe some of you would like to try it with me- a group adventure of sorts. Here's the plan: for the month of January we all commit to purge items from our home on a daily basis. In Seven, Jen Hatmaker eliminated seven items daily for one month. I am taking that challenge. So for the math challenged, such as myself, that is 217 items by January 31. But perhaps you are already fairly minimalist, and you could commit to three items a day. It really doesn't matter how many items- just that you challenge yourself to reduce excess stuff. No area of your home is off limits- garage, attic, drawers, under beds, closets, cabinets- and if I'm going to get rid of 217 items I will need to go through each of them!

So, what will you do with all those items? Glad you asked! You can obviously throw some things away or recycle, as well as donate to Goodwill or others ministries in your town. OR if you live in middle TN you could donate them to me. Because in early spring I will have a giant yard sale to raise money for Kyler's mission trip to Nicaragua in late May.

I will be posting a picture weekly to show you the 49 items collected that week. I'd love, love to hear from any of you that are taking the challenge with me. Leave me a comment telling me you're in and what your daily purge goal will be. Let's start our January's with a tangible commitment to reduce the waste in our lives and the "stuff" that traps us in materialism and commercialism.

This is my pantry which looks pretty organized, but I've already found three items to purge!