Nurses Hat, again!

I have been so blessed as a mom, to rarely deal with illness or injury. My kids have just been easy in terms of health and so it's unusual to have doctors, medicine or surgery for us to deal with. As a result there is a little anxiety for all of us as we approach Klynt's surgery tomorrow. Here was Emma's prayer tonight:

"Dear God, make sure you take care of Klynt tomorrow. There's been a lot of drama for him with his surgery....well, you already know about that. So make sure you give him confidence. Oh and since there is a slight, slight chance- I mean, I don't really think this, but since there is a chance, make sure he doesn't die. And so you know, just take care of him God....." 

Apparently, Klynt's repeated comments about tonight being his "last meal ever" sunk in with her a bit. So after a good meal of Chicken Taco Salad- his very favorite food- and a set of "before" pictures taken by me and prayers by parents and a few texts from friends, my Klynters is as ready as he can be for his elbow repair.

This fractured elbow has been a good teaching experience, and I'm sure the lessons aren't over yet. We've had discussions about why God would allow Klynt to get injured and not prevent it. How God may have prevented something much worse by allowing this injury. How a broken world causes us to get broken too. How God is more concerned with developing our character than our temporary happiness, and on and on.

So tonight, I'm praying for God to be with my son as he sleeps. To give him confidence and peace. And to allow me the opportunity to help him know God more through this experience. 

Recycling Update

overheard from one child to another as I walked through the house...

So, why are we recycling?

Mom read some book. You know- she got all inspired.

oh. figures.

So, my step toward being a better care taker of this world God has entrusted us with is being met with less enthusiasm than hoped for, but none-the-less the Russell Family continues on! I am undeterred by the skepticism of my offspring. In fact I am enjoying the process, and have discovered another side benefit- our kitchen trash can is filling much more slowly!

ps. do not judge me for what you see in my recycling bin! I cannot seem to reform the husband's soda drinking ways......yet.

How We Cheer During College Football

So it begins. Every fall I get excited about the opening weekend of college football and this year to celebrate I put out a brand new flag in support of my beloved Gators. (Chomp, chomp!) My husband resurrected a yard plaque my sweet parents gave him as a gift years ago that had become really faded in the sunlight and it now looks brand new for our family's beloved Sooners. (Boomer Sooner!)

Football in the South is a bit of a ritual. For us it involves camping out at my in-laws house wearing our team colors and eating smoky sausages, rotel dip, chili mac, taco soup, pinto's and corn bread a la Papa Doc, and brownies. (um, not all these foods on one day mind you....) Occasionally I get a wild hair and copy a fun tailgating recipe from Southern Living. But we generally stick to the routine and it is a family event which is why I love it so. My father-in-law usually sets up three tv's in the living room so as not to miss the action on other channels. My mother-in-law and I make sideways comments about all his cords and wires making the room look ugly, but we tolerate it- just as the men tolerate our discussions on changes to uniforms, who needs to smile more in the line up photos and questions about penalities. Emma generally brings her American Girl doll dressed in cheerleader attire and watches approximately one quarter of a game before moving into the kitchen to munch on food and watch Phineas and Ferb. Klynt picks a spot and cheers loudly and dramatically for all things OU. Kyler lays on the floor and half watches, half texts friends. I run back and forth between Gator football and OU football depending on the weekly line up.

last fall. notice, the hubs has a real jersey- I have a cute sparkly Gator.

It's our traditions and we love them. Hope you are all enjoying your fall traditions too. They do bind a family together and create wonderful teaching moments and memories! And as we say in The Swamp, if you aren't Gator, you're Gator Bait!

Titus Two 4 U- Kindness

Tonight's Titus Two 4 U is brought to you by Ibuprofen. Because let's just face it, sometimes being a woman hurts.

Sometimes it's a headache after a particularly trying discussion with your 14 year old about why, in fact, he is NOT going to do what he wants to do but will instead do what you've asked him to do and then he huffalumps around the kitchen to let you know how totally disgruntled he is with your parenting until he finally goes to bed. (insert me rolling my eyes behind his back)

Sometimes it's a heartache when you and your spouse aren't seeing eye to eye and cross words are exchanged and the tension creates distance. Which, in the heart of this woman, feels like love has sailed across the ocean, taking your ordinarily handsome and wonderful husband with it. And even though you know it isn't true, it still feels sad until one of you says I'm sorry and the making up can begin.

Sometimes it's the aches and pains of working hard to clean a house that will only be dirty again momentarily. But hey, aching back- at least my bathtubs are clean for now!

But, for tonight, as real as these are, I want to encourage you to remember these are first world problems. There are other problems that women face, here in the US or around the world, that make my hurts look really small. There are mother's grieving because they haven't had any food to feed their hungry children in days and days. There are women sold into the slavery of sex traffic, and every day their bodies are used for someone else's purposes. There are women in homeless shelter's because they had no where to go to get away from their abusive husband's with no means to make a living and no tangible idea of how to start over.

One of the principals presented in Titus 2:4-5 is kindness. It is taking action upon the feeling of compassion. It is recognizing hurt and need in others and responding to it. We were sitting at the kitchen table tonight after church, and the above mentioned 14 year old asked why are we seeing so many shooting rampages, after hearing about the shooting at the Empire State Building. So we started talking about how as a society, people have no one to comfort them when they go through pain and they get alone and isolated and that pain can turn to hatred. Or how people get wounded by parents or friends and with no one to guide them toward healing, they naturally turn that destruction toward others over time. And of course, there is mental illness, addiction and selfishness that can play roles as well. At one point he just looked at us and said, "Well why don't we help them before it gets to that?" Indeed.

Kindness is like ointment to emotional pain. It soothes and begins the healing. I recognize it's hard to know where to start, but here are the places God is laying on my heart: with my husband and children; with my kids friends; with my immediate neighbors and community group and any time I hear of a person struggling and alone I am going to attempt some action of kindness as my response, instead of my usual "I'll be praying for them". This week alone I heard of two different single mother's in difficult situations and have determined a tangible way to show them kindness that will hopefully point them toward the God who loved them enough to send His son for them. To remind them they are not alone and that God sees them, so He's sending me as a messenger of that fact. With chicken casserolle, because after all, this is the South and kindness and cassrolle's are intrinsically linked.

New Community

We had our first night in our new community group. I was looking forward to it, even though it had been a really long day and it would have been way easier to sit in my comfy chair and veg out. But we were committed, plus I had commented on facebook that we were excited to come, so there's no backing out of that. So half of our family piled in the car and drove over to a sweet couple's home and walked in to a big crock pot of White Chicken Chili and a lot of new faces.

There's something so strange about first meetings. No one really knows each others back stories yet- what your family is like; what your testimony is; how you feel about where you've been and where you are now; what college football team you root for. (Ok, actually we covered that in depth thanks to my husband's inability to let it go when someone mentions Texas. It's out first meeting for Pete's sake- let it go!) Everyone is ready to get to know each other but you tip toe cautiously as you don't know yet their sensitive territory. So there's lots of small talk and joking and complimenting of the White Chicken Chili. (Which was totally yummy- thanks Kirsten!)

But then we begin to open God's word and someone bravely reads out loud the passage from Galatians 6 and we begin to discuss: "How does the Gospel keep us from becoming weary in doing good? Is reaping and sowing good news or bad news? Why do we need to take care of our pastor's?" Something beautiful happens. The back story fades away as God's story in each of our lives emerges. People share thoughts and experiences and how God reminds them of His goodness and before you know it- it feels like family. I'm always amazed by that dynamic. In our group we had a set of grandparents, us (parents of teenagers) a couple with toddlers, some single people and some married with no kids. It was an eclectic mix to be sure. Yet I left feeling connected to people I had never had a conversation with before. I'm still interested to learn the back stories and like any family, as the new wears off, there will be annoying traits and odd-ball quirks to contend with, messy issues and hurts. But as long as we stay focused together in Jesus- it works.

I'm really excited for our next meeting. Completely thankful to be welcomed into the lives of these people. And ready to share some life.

Rocked

Well. I just finished reading (in three days) a very challenging book, Seven written by Jen Hatmaker. I loved, loved it. First of all, I write like her! Granted, she is a far superior writer. And she has way more experience. But, we do have a similar style so that was just fun for me.

The real and more significant reason I loved, loved it was it inspired me to think. To question some of the norms in my life. To take a hard look at what I call spiritual and decide if it does, in fact, mirror the life Jesus has called me to live. Short answer: not even nearly as much as I hope for it to. Here is the best part of the book though: I did not come away feeling condemned or discouraged. Just inspired.

I shall probably explore some of the changes I choose to make to my current suburban-American lifestyle here, so be prepared. (you may be totally annoyed with me by the time my processing is over)
The biggest issue I think facing me is the realization that I am just one part of my whole family, and I cannot make radical changes all willy-nilly without causing a mutiny. And Russell mutiny is never good. Besides, God is working on my heart here, so I really need to make changes for myself before trying to get my kids to agree to give up "normal" American stuff.

I have decided the Russell family is going to begin recycling. So there. One change for the better. (I am aware most of you have been recycling forever and this hardly constitutes dramatic global change, but for us it will be a step in stewarding the earth in a more responsible way.)

My last thought for the night is how blessed I feel to be part of a community of faith that truly desires to reach "the least of these" and does not shy away from embracing broken, messy  and "sinful" people. I love that we are just as likely to have people who are brand new to faith in Christ as we are to have folks who can quote big passages of scripture. More important is how we are learning to live out scripture side by side.

Titus Two 4 U - Picky Eater Solution

(Note: this is the best picky eater solution I have ever heard of anywhere. It was inspired I believe directly from the Holy Spirit after a particularly awful dinner and some subsequent prayer.)

All families have one or more children that seem to be reluctant to try new foods, complain about mushrooms in the casserole or refuse to eat peas. But some families have a child whose fear of finding an unpleasant food in their mouth goes to a level that seems to only be real in a sitcom. We were that kind of family.

In part I blame myself because when I was a single mom, we ate out a lot. The boys were little and could share one kids meal between them, and I was tired from working so eating at fast food restaurants was a regular part of our life. But whatever the reason, by the time my middle son was seven, he was without question the most dramatic picky eater I've ever seen. Dinner time would look something like this:

Me: Okay guys, dinner's ready! Come sit down.

Middle (with look of suspicion): what's for dinner?

Me: It's something you've had before. There's nothing weird in it. You'll like it. It's called Poppy Seed Chicken.

Middle: I don't like poppy seeds.

Me: You can't taste poppy seeds.

Middle: It looks weird. What's in the sauce?

Me: It's just sour cream and soups mixed together. Now quit asking so many questions. It's a very normal chicken casserole and you'll like it.

Cut to 30 minutes later, after pushing casserole around his plate and not eating.

Dad: Now that's it. Take a bite of this dinner your mom made. We're not asking you to eat anything weird or bad- it's food. The rest of us ate it. Do it now!

Middle: (with tears) I'm trying dad. (more pushing food around plate) I ate some of my salad.

Me: Just take one bite. You can wash it down with your drink if you don't like it.

After finally putting the smallest amount possible you could still technically call a bite into his mouth, he begins gagging. Then proceeds to throw up onto his dinner plate. We are angry. He is in tears. Lovely family dinner, done.

That is how dinner played out for about six months at the height of his extreme pickyness. So one night I was praying about what to do with this child. I hated how dinner time had become such a dramatic power struggle and yet, I did not feel good about just letting him continue to only eat three foods and cater to that. I had other children and how could I tell them it was okay for their brother to only eat what he wanted, but not for them? Not to mention I was legitimately worried about him becoming nutritionally deficit. And irrational. And spoiled. Then it hit me- straight from the Holy Spirit, because I am not this clever- a way to end the struggle, but maintain parental authority:

"Non-Eater Status"

Here's how it works: the child placed on non-eater status does not have to eat anything they don't want to. No more guilt, pressure or threats of punishment. However, since there is no guarantee they will be getting adequate variety and nutrition, they cannot eat a single bit of "junk" food. No candy, ice cream, gum, pizza, chips, fast food. And if a child is placed on non-eater status it's for a minimum of three months. So for three months the battle is over. The picky eater has relief that they don't have to put yucky foods in their mouth. But they also have no options for junk. Eat what you want of the healthy food offered, or be hungry. Now I will tell you, I was really rigid with the junk part. The goal was not to figure out how to find a comfortable way for my child to maintain his pickyness. The goal was to get him to realize "on his own" that being picky wasn't worth missing cake at a birthday party and to decide he was brave enough to try some foods.

At first, he just skipped meals a lot. He was so relieved to not be "forced" to eat, he opted not to. And we didn't battle him on it at all. He usually like our breakfast options and would at least eat a sandwich at lunch, so I knew he was not going to starve to death. But after the first week, he began eating some dinner. Not the dreaded casserole's, of course, but he'd eat some salad or his peas. Eventually, it began working. He missed out on cupcakes at a class party, chips and salsa when we went out for Mexican, sodas during movie night. After two months, we were approaching September and I began to fret a little about Halloween. If he didn't come off non-eater status at the end of three months- would I be able to stick to my word and make him skip trick-or-treating? No Halloween candy at all? So I began to drop some little comments like, "you know, after this month you get to pick to be an eater again. I sure hope you feel ready, because I'd hate for you to miss out on your brother's birthday treats and Halloween." It worked. At the end of September, he decided he was ready to eat again. The rules were:  no drama at meals times. You eat some of everything on your plate. You did  not cry or gag or complain. If these rules were not followed, parents would place you back on non-eater status for another three months.

Well I am happy to report that we all survived this period in my middle son's life. He is now a mostly normal eater- he has occasional panic about mayonnaise and has consistently refused eggs his whole life. But otherwise he will eat a wide variety and has generally conquered the fears associated with food. We laugh about the whole non-eater status now, but at the time, it rescued meal time and eliminated a ton of stress for all of us.