Saturday, June 16, 2012

Mirroring God: a Dad's job description


There are so many areas of life a dad is responsible for. Providing for the financial needs of the family. Protecting from danger. Mowing the yard and taking out the trash and changing the hard to reach light bulbs and killing bugs. (obviously some areas are more glamorous than others) But there is no responsibility quite as heavy as being your child's first picture of who God is.

When I think about my own dad, there are a few vivid memories that come to mind. We loved to watch the Cosby Show and Family Ties on Thursday nights together. Dad would always make popcorn, and put cheese salt on it. He would look around the kitchen and then almost without fail ask, "Do we need some ice cream?" As if the four kids were going to answer anything but "YES!" Then he'd run up the road to the 7-Eleven and come by with Bryers Mint Chocolate Chip as well as a 2-liter of Coke. (Coming back from the store with more than he went for was also a dad tradition) Another memory I always recall is "Sunday Morning Round Up" (this is my name for the memory) Every Sunday morning was the mad dash to get 4 women ready for church. I had a brother, but I literally have no recollection of seeing him on Sunday mornings. Perhaps he escaped to the garage or something. Anyway, dad was always an early riser and ready well before we were. So he'd start walking around asking if we needed anything "pressed" as well as taking orders for size and color of pantyhose we needed. Do not ask me why we needed new pantyhose almost every Sunday, but dad would iron all the girls' stuff and run to the store to purchase them because the ones I had were either  the wrong color or had a run in them. (side note- I do NOT miss pantyhose!) The other memory that comes to me often if I'm thinking about dad is him sitting up in the early morning reading his bible. He was always up before me, and if I got up on time I'd see him. Dad knew God's word. He used it regularly in conversation with me. (Not surprisingly he would often quote the verse to me, "Where words are many, sin is not absent" from Proverbs, much to my annoyance at the time) Dad worked hard. A lot. I didn't get to spend tons of time with him in my growing up years because he was the only working parent and put in long hours to provide for our family of six. I always knew that dad loved me though. Because when he wasn't working he was with us. I knew my mom was the love of his life, and I knew our family was what he worked so hard for.

Looking back, I see many ways dad's reflection of God was accurate. Oh sure, there were places he fell short. No one can perfectly mirror our Heavenly Father. But the lessons I learned about who God is from my father's life were enough. I knew God was faithful, sacrificial and loving. I knew He cared about the details of my life. I knew He could be counted on and I knew his strength and wisdom was far beyond mine. I knew He delighted in giving good gifts. Good gifts like my daddy gave me. Good gifts like my dad himself.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Enough

I love when my kids teach me.

It has been almost a month now since my MIL took a turn for the worse with her back. I have lost count of the times I've driven back and forth to Baptist Hospital. I am constantly posting updates on facebook, attempting to keep those who love her in the loop on the latest set back or step forward. (although to be honest, it feels like more set backs lately...) It's been an unusual season for all of us. My teenage sons are rolling with it pretty well. They don't have the need to connect with me on a daily basis as much as they used to. My little sweet pea on the other hand is starting to wear out. Between mama working and going to the hospital it hasn't felt very normal for her. Two nights ago she melted down. We talked, snuggled, I put the call phone away so I could just focus on her for a bit and she calmed down.

The next day we went on a mom-Em adventure to explore our town. We has decided we would do some explorations this summer on Fridays, but a trip to the hospital had interrupted our last Friday plan (hence the melt down). So, off we went and had a delightful time, just her and I. Kyler is off at Governor's School; Klynt was on night two of sleeping over at a friend's house- so she got me all to herself! We decided to go see an historic battlefield in our town and it was really cool. There was a cemetery connected to it that we went to as well, and it gave us time to talk about how lots of people sacrifice their lives for our freedom, which led us to talk about suffering in general. Em made a comment about war being a horrible thing, and we spent some time just talking about how God always bring good out of suffering. I thought this might be a good opportunity to bring some light to our recent struggles with Gram's illness, so I asked Emma what lessons God was teaching her in this time with Gram being in the hospital.

"What we have is enough, mom."

I agreed that was a true statement but to be honest I wasn't quite sure how Gram's illness had translated into that lesson for her. Still I pondered it all day, thinking how neat it is that God speaks to my children. Then I felt God whispering that truth to my heart. I have been quite tired, running back and forth between job, family and hospital. Yet, I have enough. I want more energy, more time, more resources- but the truth is I have what I need. I have been given exactly enough energy to accomplish the jobs God has given me. Just enough faith to believe God is working this for all our good and His glory. Enough to cover my need, not so much I can become self reliant. The part of me that desires to have more than I need is constantly trying to stock pile security. I'd like to know I have some extra in reserve, just in case what God thinks is enough for me falls short. It's a daily surrender to allow myself to use up every bit of me, knowing God will give me more at just the right moment. It's so difficult to trust, but watching God teach my sweet girl that lesson encouraged me.