Saturday, May 12, 2012

The (Not So) Happy Mother's Day

"Watching Say Yes to the Dress" tonight was like watching a white and ruffly train wreck. It's a guilty pleasure I admit. But as I watched these women try to sort through pounds of chiffon and years of dreams, the dysfunction and tension existing in their relationships with their mom's was painfully obvious. Of course that tension makes for good television, but it reminded me of something:

Mother's Day is not happy for everyone.

Hallmark doesn't make cards for some of the realities in this broken world. There are women whose mothers were abusive, or addicted, or more interested in their new boyfriend than their daughter. There are women who never knew their moms or lost them early in life. There are moms who will not hear from their grown children on Mother's Day because the relationship is so strained. And there are mothers deeply grieving the loss of their child. For these women, Mother's Day can be painful, especially when they do not feel the freedom or ability to express their hurt or disappointment.

If that is you, take heart. You are not alone. And God sees you. No one will ever know as deeply as He the pain you've carried. Or understand the victory in being a different mom than the one you had. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is of Hagar, Abraham's concubine. She is used, unwanted, unfairly treated by the woman who holds power over her and at one point flees. And there God comes to her. She actually has the honor of doing something found no where else in scripture: she names God. In all other places, God names Himself. Hagar names God Beer Lahai Roi, which translates "the God who sees me". What a beautiful description! No one else saw or knew her pain, but God did not miss her. Overlook her. Ignore her.

If tomorrow is a day filled with mixed emotions or painful ones, remember there is a God who sees you also. 

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for this Debi. Mother's Day is difficult for me now since losing my Mom three years ago. But serving in China, taking care of these precious orphans, I can be SO grateful that I had someone to call Mom, and these children do not. It puts a different perspective on Mother's Day now. Happy Mother's day!

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  2. Jamie- love you and praying for your work and finances in China!

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