Sunday, September 30, 2012

Titus Two For U - Making Space to Want

Well, I told you about the book Seven that rocked my world this summer. It led me to deep thoughts about the way I see my role in this world and who God calls his children to be when He says we are "salt" and "light". I began recycling which is going great (other than the first three weeks when I forgot to put the tub out by the curb so by week three I had too much to fit in the tub and had to just throw it away. That was a fail. BUT otherwise, it's been lovely) .

So now God has been stirring another thought in me for a few months about how I fill up my wants so quickly. I'm actually quite a pro at it. I really can't remember a time I deeply wanted anything that I wasn't hatching a plan to fulfill it. The plan usually revolves around buying something, eating something or creating a plan to buy or eat something in the near future. None of these are wrong, of course. But at the same time, I hear God whispering to me, "Why won't you just wait on me to fill you up?"

So, as we head into the busiest shopping, eating out season of the year, I made a small resolution to answer God's whisper. It's a little bit exciting and a little bit daunting. I, Debi Russell, will buy nothing for myself for the next 6 months. I really thought it through and determined it was a good way to create a little space to want and let God fill. To allow Him to move in my heart in ways I can't when I feel all satisfied and stuffed and quenched. I just don't let myself be very hungry or thirsty, metaphorically. (or otherwise) When David says in Psalms "My soul thirsts for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water" I cannot relate. Not really. But I long to.

So, just to be honest, I began the resolution a month ago, meaning I have five more months to go. Here's what's included in my non-buying plan: clothing, home decorations, jewelry, books, shoes (no new fall boots, sigh), purses, lunch out alone or little gifts for others "just because" (as these are essentially for me, because I love doing that, and I can easily replace it with baking something or writing a note). Here's what I'm not including: gifts for birthdays/christmas for others, lunch with a friend, my nails (they're already part of my grocery budget so I'm going with them), a new planner in January, replacement of an item that breaks if it's my only one (like the hair dryer I bought last month).

Wish me well bloggy friends. I've taken off the shopper hat. I will absolutely keep you posted on the ups and downs over the next five months. Praying for God to give me His comfort and His joy as I say goodbye to my watered down versions of it for a bit.

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