It's been a tough month for me. I have not been well. I have been well enough, to you know, keep doing all the mom things and wife things and work things, but sick enough to feel misreable while doing them. At first I thought I had a virus, but then it kept going. Then I went to the doctor and we thought it might be something really difficult and overwhelming. But so far none of those possibilities have played out. So we're still in the middle of trying to figure out what exactly is interfering with my normal good health, health I will add that I have take for granted, but will not anymore. But in the midst of all this "not knowing what's wrong" misery, there has been some sweetness and humor and a chance to see God's goodness to me.
My favorite thing has been the support, concern and love that I have experienced over the past two weeks as I have let people know to be praying. So many precious texts of encouragement, facebook messages with scripture I needed to hear, hugs and "check in's"......I realize how beautiful community is! It has been a blessing to see that not only do I have a very supportive physical family, I have my City Church and Branches family too. So if you are part of those groups, thank you for praying and loving me- it has blessed me so much!
Another sweet thing has been how my kids have been so concerned about their mama. You know, of course, your kids love you. But seeing their reactions to me not being well has let me know they have a genuine concern for me, which you don't always get a chance to see when you're operating normally.
The funniest moment was three nights ago. I woke up in the most misery I have ever felt. Ever. Every bone in my face hurt, my cheek was swollen from a hideous canker sore, I could not breath at all, my mouth was like a bowl of cotton, I was coughing, there was a random pain in my chest every time I coughed- you get the picture. It was not good. Oh, and the arm they had drawn blood from the day before was weirdly numb and kind of just hanging to my side. So at 2am I came staggering into the living room and my husband (who is sometimes up that late writing) looked up at me and tried hard not to laugh because he knew I really felt awful, but had a hard time holding it in. (He told me later I looked like a zombie from The Walking Dead. I know it was true becaue I had caught a glimps of myself in the mirror on the way out of the bedroom and even in my state of misery I thought "whoa. that look needs some help." but didn't care enough to do anything about it.) He shuffled me back to bed and brought me some water, some medicine and the best thing EVER if you find yourself in that state of misery- Vicks Vapor Rub. I had forgotten about that stuff, and normally don't even get sick enough to consider it, but sweet nectar of life, it was heavenly. He slathered my face and neck and chest down with it, tucked me in and got in bed himself. As we lay there and he began the breathing that lets me know he's fallen asleep, I thought, "this is the beautiful part of marriage. I have quite possibly never looked or felt this awful. I'm about as much fun as root canal to be around. I have no ability to even care about his needs right now. Yet I am absolutely certain he loves me all the same."
My favorite thing has been the support, concern and love that I have experienced over the past two weeks as I have let people know to be praying. So many precious texts of encouragement, facebook messages with scripture I needed to hear, hugs and "check in's"......I realize how beautiful community is! It has been a blessing to see that not only do I have a very supportive physical family, I have my City Church and Branches family too. So if you are part of those groups, thank you for praying and loving me- it has blessed me so much!
Another sweet thing has been how my kids have been so concerned about their mama. You know, of course, your kids love you. But seeing their reactions to me not being well has let me know they have a genuine concern for me, which you don't always get a chance to see when you're operating normally.
The funniest moment was three nights ago. I woke up in the most misery I have ever felt. Ever. Every bone in my face hurt, my cheek was swollen from a hideous canker sore, I could not breath at all, my mouth was like a bowl of cotton, I was coughing, there was a random pain in my chest every time I coughed- you get the picture. It was not good. Oh, and the arm they had drawn blood from the day before was weirdly numb and kind of just hanging to my side. So at 2am I came staggering into the living room and my husband (who is sometimes up that late writing) looked up at me and tried hard not to laugh because he knew I really felt awful, but had a hard time holding it in. (He told me later I looked like a zombie from The Walking Dead. I know it was true becaue I had caught a glimps of myself in the mirror on the way out of the bedroom and even in my state of misery I thought "whoa. that look needs some help." but didn't care enough to do anything about it.) He shuffled me back to bed and brought me some water, some medicine and the best thing EVER if you find yourself in that state of misery- Vicks Vapor Rub. I had forgotten about that stuff, and normally don't even get sick enough to consider it, but sweet nectar of life, it was heavenly. He slathered my face and neck and chest down with it, tucked me in and got in bed himself. As we lay there and he began the breathing that lets me know he's fallen asleep, I thought, "this is the beautiful part of marriage. I have quite possibly never looked or felt this awful. I'm about as much fun as root canal to be around. I have no ability to even care about his needs right now. Yet I am absolutely certain he loves me all the same."
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| my night stand while sick- never have I been so thankful for Vapor Rub! |
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