About five or six years ago we went through a very strange season of everything breaking down. When I say everything, I mean we began to keep track of how many things were breaking and needing to be repaired- cars, our oven, plumbing, doors, cars again, plumbing again, our trampoline, on and on. It was a list of over 30 items spanning the course of six months. In the beginning it was frustrating, annoying, expensive. Then it became funny (almost) and still expensive. Then it turned maddening. Why was God letting all this happen? One time, we came home form a week long mission trip to inner city Atlanta and our plumbing had thrown up in the bathtub. Cleaning that up, after spending a week in the summer heat made for a lot of grumbling on my part. Finally when it was still happening, I just sort of gave up and accepted it.
Shortly after, I was showering one morning and I felt God say something to me, in my spirit. "You know how things keep breaking and just when you get them fixed something else breaks? You know how you are frustrated and mad and think it's not fair? That's what loving people is like. It's messy and they don't always stay fixed and you get mad and want to quit. Get ready. Loving people is hard because they are broken." (Really, soap suds in my hair and everything that's what I heard.) I have never before or since experienced a season like that. It was the best picture of what I was about to step into. Additionally, God doesn't usually speak to me quite like that. Normally I hear form Him through His word and prayer and worship. But this time, he needed to get my attention.
I've been doing counseling around four and a half years now. It's every bit as hard on some days as God was prepping me for. I do get mad at the brokenness. Not so much at the people, but at the darkness around them. The harm they have lived through. The harm they create with their sinful choices. The evil plot Satan is always twisting against God's creation. The way creation itself just breaks down. Broken.
I long for the day when all is made new. When restoration is final and nothing breaks again. But, in the meantime, I know one thing: Jesus did not come down here and march into the depths of hell and conquer sin and death and rise victorious for me to stick my head in the sand! There is a battle. You and I are in it whether we like it or not. It's messy and you can't predict the outcome of each skirmish. Sometimes people stay broken. Sometimes they get better only to break down again. And sometimes there is glorious, shocking victory. Those moments will take your breath away. You don't have to be a counselor to get in the battle. There are hurting people all around you, and they need you to love them, fight for them, believe they can be victorious through Christ.
Makes me want to watch Braveheart. It's an Intensive week at work and that always stirs my passion. But instead of watching a movie tonight I'm just in prayer over our city. And if you're reading this, I'm praying for you too. And while we're at it, I'll take any prayers you want to lift up for me this week as well.
Shortly after, I was showering one morning and I felt God say something to me, in my spirit. "You know how things keep breaking and just when you get them fixed something else breaks? You know how you are frustrated and mad and think it's not fair? That's what loving people is like. It's messy and they don't always stay fixed and you get mad and want to quit. Get ready. Loving people is hard because they are broken." (Really, soap suds in my hair and everything that's what I heard.) I have never before or since experienced a season like that. It was the best picture of what I was about to step into. Additionally, God doesn't usually speak to me quite like that. Normally I hear form Him through His word and prayer and worship. But this time, he needed to get my attention.
I've been doing counseling around four and a half years now. It's every bit as hard on some days as God was prepping me for. I do get mad at the brokenness. Not so much at the people, but at the darkness around them. The harm they have lived through. The harm they create with their sinful choices. The evil plot Satan is always twisting against God's creation. The way creation itself just breaks down. Broken.
I long for the day when all is made new. When restoration is final and nothing breaks again. But, in the meantime, I know one thing: Jesus did not come down here and march into the depths of hell and conquer sin and death and rise victorious for me to stick my head in the sand! There is a battle. You and I are in it whether we like it or not. It's messy and you can't predict the outcome of each skirmish. Sometimes people stay broken. Sometimes they get better only to break down again. And sometimes there is glorious, shocking victory. Those moments will take your breath away. You don't have to be a counselor to get in the battle. There are hurting people all around you, and they need you to love them, fight for them, believe they can be victorious through Christ.
Makes me want to watch Braveheart. It's an Intensive week at work and that always stirs my passion. But instead of watching a movie tonight I'm just in prayer over our city. And if you're reading this, I'm praying for you too. And while we're at it, I'll take any prayers you want to lift up for me this week as well.
Right on.
ReplyDelete