It's my anniversary week. I am in full on reminiscing mode. Bear with me.
I was 27. I was tan and thin. I was in love. I was beyond excited to be marrying this handsome, godly, funny, loyal, raving OU football man. I was a single mom to two (and this is biased, but true) of the most adorable little boys in the world. I was preparing to move 12 hours away and begin a brand new life. I was in wedding mania, and loving it.
It still amazes me. How God brings beauty from ashes. My other life, as I often call it, was marked by quite a bit of pain. As this is not only my story, but also my children's, I will leave the details out, but simply say I was broken hearted and fully released by God from my first marriage after 6 years. It was tough. Going through divorce, whatever the reason, hurts. In my case, I was blessed with 2 little sticky-faced, jammie-wearing reasons to keep moving forward. I also had a church family that supported me every step of the way. They truly took it upon themselves to "care for the widows and orphans"- we'd come home and there would be bags of groceries on our doorstep, or a cashier's check would arrive in the mail- I never knew who they were from, but I knew God was behind it all. Still it was lonely and scary being a single mom. One time I had a man try to break into my house in the middle of the night. (My parents arrived the next day with new locking devices for my doors.) I had been a married girl, so all my friends were married mom's. There was really no one to talk to after I put my kids to bed at 8pm. I worked out in my garage every night. (Hence the "thin") I drank too much coffee, ate too many fish sticks and watched too much late night TV. Adjusting to singleness after marriedness was a stretch for me.
Then my brother got me a computer. Old school dial-up internet with the noise and everything. I could only e-mail because technology and I have never been friends. (we're barely on speaking terms) But I was bored. So I began surfing the world wide web as we called it. And I discovered a single's christian chat room and thought, "How totally creepy" but after a few more months of boredom and lonliness, my curiosity got the better of me. So I began chatting with some people and it was mostly other mom's or harmless, but goofy men- the chat room had rules if you were vulgar or inappropriate they would kick you out. It was like they had cyber-bouncers, which made the whole thing much less creepy and actually kind of fun. Then one night this new guy was on there and he was so funny, but such a slow typer that no one was getting his jokes. I ended up talking with him for 4 hours that night, telling him some of my story and he telling me his. We quickly decided to exchange photo's because let's face it, I had to know if he was cute or not. Because this was the stone-age and pre-facebook, we actually snail mailed pictures to each other. 6 weeks and hundreds of conversation hours later, we met in person. 6 months, 4 visits and thousands of conversation hours later we got engaged. 5 months later we said I do.
Beauty for ashes. Life for death. Love for loss.
I was 27. I was tan and thin. I was in love. I was beyond excited to be marrying this handsome, godly, funny, loyal, raving OU football man. I was a single mom to two (and this is biased, but true) of the most adorable little boys in the world. I was preparing to move 12 hours away and begin a brand new life. I was in wedding mania, and loving it.
It still amazes me. How God brings beauty from ashes. My other life, as I often call it, was marked by quite a bit of pain. As this is not only my story, but also my children's, I will leave the details out, but simply say I was broken hearted and fully released by God from my first marriage after 6 years. It was tough. Going through divorce, whatever the reason, hurts. In my case, I was blessed with 2 little sticky-faced, jammie-wearing reasons to keep moving forward. I also had a church family that supported me every step of the way. They truly took it upon themselves to "care for the widows and orphans"- we'd come home and there would be bags of groceries on our doorstep, or a cashier's check would arrive in the mail- I never knew who they were from, but I knew God was behind it all. Still it was lonely and scary being a single mom. One time I had a man try to break into my house in the middle of the night. (My parents arrived the next day with new locking devices for my doors.) I had been a married girl, so all my friends were married mom's. There was really no one to talk to after I put my kids to bed at 8pm. I worked out in my garage every night. (Hence the "thin") I drank too much coffee, ate too many fish sticks and watched too much late night TV. Adjusting to singleness after marriedness was a stretch for me.
Then my brother got me a computer. Old school dial-up internet with the noise and everything. I could only e-mail because technology and I have never been friends. (we're barely on speaking terms) But I was bored. So I began surfing the world wide web as we called it. And I discovered a single's christian chat room and thought, "How totally creepy" but after a few more months of boredom and lonliness, my curiosity got the better of me. So I began chatting with some people and it was mostly other mom's or harmless, but goofy men- the chat room had rules if you were vulgar or inappropriate they would kick you out. It was like they had cyber-bouncers, which made the whole thing much less creepy and actually kind of fun. Then one night this new guy was on there and he was so funny, but such a slow typer that no one was getting his jokes. I ended up talking with him for 4 hours that night, telling him some of my story and he telling me his. We quickly decided to exchange photo's because let's face it, I had to know if he was cute or not. Because this was the stone-age and pre-facebook, we actually snail mailed pictures to each other. 6 weeks and hundreds of conversation hours later, we met in person. 6 months, 4 visits and thousands of conversation hours later we got engaged. 5 months later we said I do.
Beauty for ashes. Life for death. Love for loss.
Deb I'm honored to read this and re-live your story. God does bring about amazing things from crap doesn't he? I'm so thankful to know you and your family. Truly I've been so grateful that you stuck with me during my nonsense years never giving up on me. Now as we raise our kids across the miles I think often about your theories, quirks, great parenting tactics and all of the hilarious society imposed rules that you refuse to live by. Seeking instead to hold up truth as a standard for all decisions. God knew how much I needed a Debi in my life and gave me you. That drives me daily in how I raise my kids putting them out there in the world hoping that just maybe they will be a "Debi" to someone who needs them too.
ReplyDeleteGreat story and post Debi. I'm glad your husband is as awesome as you deserve him to be.
ReplyDeleteYou know, having been a part of Scott's (always a Patrick!) life (and then joyfully yours) during that season, the Lord's hand was completely guiding both of you. Yes, the internet and cyber world have changed a lot! Happy Anniversary! I love you both!
ReplyDelete