Just for Fun

I just love Christmas! I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating: this is my favorite time of year! (as I type Bing is crooning God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, and Emma is singing along) So just to share all my joy, here are some of my most meaningful decorations in my home:

The Nativity from my childhood and a painting from my childhood best friend both sit by the front door

My Grandmother's nativity always sits on my mantle

My Santa collection lives in a shelf built by my Grandfather who I never met, but will one day!

Our tree this year- we have always done a live tree - I'm usually sweeping up needles in July!

My Christmas China- collected for me completely by my mom- who gave me my love of Christmas!

Shopping Fail

In the interest of being honest, here is my latest fail in my shopping fast:

Yes, they are super cute salt and pepper shakers. Yes, I did forget that I was on a shopping fast when I picked them up and saw they were clearanced to $1.50. And yes, I remembered the rules before I actually paid for them, but rationalized they were only $1.50 and I didn't want the clerk to think I was a weirdo and I wanted them.

Not shopping for myself is harder than I imagined in some ways. I'm discovering that part of what is hard is wrapped up in the way something new and shiny distracts me from stress. December is always a tight month financially for us- between Christmas with three kids, and taking unpaid time off work for me and Scott's part time job not using him- I can get a little stressed out about bills. And I have discovered when I feel that way, I tend to go shop for some little treat. How counter-productive is that??! But, in denying myself I am forced to face my quest for financial security, and it leaves me the space to turn to God. In confession of my fears. In repentance for trusting anything more than Him for provision. And in thanks for His grace and mercy and faithfulness to lead me closer to Him.

Forget Norman Rockwell

I was totally enjoying my cozy little "gaze at the Christmas tree while sipping a cup of coffee in the peaceful early morning" moment today when my cat began scratching and whining (loudly) at the mudroom door. I tried to tune him out but that cat makes a racket when he feels the indignity of not being fed at 5:30 am. Promptly. So I had to get up and go feed him, then I noticed the hairball he had kindly left on the rug, so I had to get that cleaned up and my cozy moment was done. By the time I finished it was time to get the little sweet pea up. Norman Rockwell moment- done.

Which got me to thinking about how at the holidays we are often trying to find those "perfect, facebook worthy pictures" to capture and document for ourselves and everyone else that we really do live A Wonderful Life. (insert bell ringing on tree, and cue the music.....) I grew up watching The Cosby Show and Family Ties and I always loved how in any awkward or tense moment the parents or kids had just the right comment to add humor or knew exactly how to empathetically communicate just the right words so that Vanessa would agree she had been unkind to Rudy. And there would be hugging and maybe a tear or a poignant smile and, cue the music..... But, life is just not that scripted. It's real and our best moments are not always captured in a photo. And often the pursuit of a special moment is full of angst and stress and disappointment.

My husband, who generally speaking, dislikes anything scripted or structured has taught me a lot, at the holidays especially, about letting moments naturally evolve. Not putting so much pressure on myself to create them or on others to respond in the way I have pictured in my head. Sometimes 15 year olds pout during your office party. Sometimes no one likes the holiday meal you tried from Southern Living. Sometimes you're too tired to actually enjoy the fun family event you planned. It's just life.

But, if you stop to breath and reflect, you may discover (as I have) that there are many wonderful little Norman Rockwell moments you didn't plan that occur if you can have eyes to see them. Sometimes your 15 year old plans to spend $50 of his own birthday money on his brother because he wants to be more generous this year. Or your entire family is unexpectedly home and sitting around the dinner table laughing. Or your husband spends four hours fixing the lights on the tree after they go out just so it will be beautiful for the season. Or the cat sleeps in.

Living in Extreme's

I woke up today with a scratchy throat. No severe pain but the kind that makes you say, "Oh dear. Am I getting sick??!" This awareness resulted in a little conversation in my head about the wisdom of sleeping longer vs. going to the gym. Sleep won out today. However, the internal dialogue went on longer than you might imagine because the truth is I have fear. Fear of not being a faithful exerciser if I miss a scheduled morning. My fear is based on years of evidence that supports it. In the past, I tended to start strong- sort of a boot camp mentality. Than after 2 weeks, or maybe three, some obstacle would present itself and completely derail all my progress. Until guilt, or the inability to fit into my pants, would prompt me to begin the cycle all over again. All or nothing- never worked for me, always worked against me.

Currently I am approaching my entire goal of faithful exercise from a different perspective. Instead of focusing on some specific number on a scale or size I want to be, or even how many times a week I made it to the gym, I am focusing on being grateful for the healthy body God has blessed me with and from that gratitude, I am responding with steps to be a good steward of this body. Exercise being one such step. Rest, healthy eating (we aren't discussing that one till January!) and taking vitamins are also part of the overall plan. In the past I was simply too extreme. I am attempting to be more balanced and kinder to myself so that on a day when I wake up with a scratchy throat, I can choose to not work out with no guilt or fear.

I've noticed with my women friends, there is a strong tendency to live in one extreme or the other:

Have a picture perfect home, or let it be trashed in despair. 

Look perfectly "fixed" all the time, or never get out of sweat pants and baggy T-shirts. 

Have a quiet time every day, or go months without reading God's Word. 

We swing back and forth like pendulums, reacting to one extreme by going to the other. In my life, I have found I "swing" more when my motives are trying to impress others or prove my worth. Am I keeping my home clean and organized to be thought of as "so together" by my friends or so that my family is blessed by having a comfortable and inviting place to retreat from the world and rest? Because if it's the latter, it won't matter if the house looks ready for a photo shoot at all times and I won't feel like a failure if the floors aren't vacuumed or there are dishes in the sink. This applies to every area we tend to be extreme in. Examining our hearts and motives can reveal that we are doing the right thing for the wrong reason, which will never yield a peace and joy-filled life.

Happy December!

So in no particular order here are the wonderful things I love about December:
real Christmas tree in my living room
the non-stop carols on the radio
apple cider
The Grinch and Charlie Brown and Rudolph movies
real cards in the mail
shopping for my kids
candles everywhere in my house
holiday comfort food
Santa collection in the hallway
my Grandmother's nativity on my mantle
decorating my Branches office
Murfreesboro Christmas Parade
picking out Christmas-y outfits for me and Emma
pulling out years of decorations and the memories that go with them
hot cocoa
scarves and mittens
candy canes
Starbucks christmas-y drinks
our Square for shopping
visiting with friends and family
reading the story of the birth of Christ all month
school parties
paper snowflakes
wrapping gifts
decorating our tree
going light looking
It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street
using my Christmas china
poinsettia's
school being out
the potential for snow and the ensuing excitement from my kids
Christmas cookies- sugar, macaroons, peanut butter hershey kisses
homemade candies
ABC Family 25 days of Christmas
advent calendars
nutcrackers
Opry Hotel Lights
glitter and sparkle and bows and ribbons
angels, which remind me of my grandmother
Christmas mugs for coffee and cocoa
wearing Christmas jammies
light poles around town all decorated
Christmas stamps and mailing packages
Angels We Have Heard on High and Joy to the World- my favorite carols
Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra and Perry Como CD's
wearing Santa hats
snowmen and gingerbread men
my kids old Santa photos lining my mirror
Southern Living Christmas cookbooks
Christmas Eve
Christmas service at church
mocha punch and yummy Christmas morning breakfast
watching the kids open gifts
Christmas dinner
Christmas day phone calls from family far and wide

Hope your December is full of the wonder and beauty that comes with celebrating Jesus!

Titus Two 4 U - Use What You've Got!

"Poverty is the mother of Creativity" is a quote from my childhood bestie, Caryn Dahm (of http://www.ragtagrubies.com/  a totally awesome upcycled crafting and art business).

It's true! As I am fasting the "shopping for self" I normally engage in, I am discovering a creative side to me I have always overlooked. So this morning, as I was feeling a bit restless I pulled some items I had around the house and created a little holiday mudroom entrance and it turned out pretty cute and it cost me nothing! Win, win, win!

If you read my blog about Pinterest a few months ago (I have since repented of my non-pinteresting ways) you know I tried to create a letter for an "alphabet wall" as a baby shower gift, which did not quite work out because I could not get the yarn t cover the ends of the letter. BUT as a "homespun" addition to this wreath it was perfect! I rummaged around my garage and found this old sled and a wreath that I was never very happy with, so I stripped it and started over. Anyway, not totally finished with the whole display, but it's got my creative juices flowing.

So, aside from just decorating, this got me to thinking about the bigger principal of using what has already been provided instead of asking for more. Whether it's showing hospitality to friends or ministering to the needy or using your gifts to serve your family or reaching out to those who do not know Christ- God has provided each of us with a set of "talents" and "treasures" to use to accomplish his purposes for us. It's easier to keep looking at other's treasures and saying "If only I was a better cook, or a more skilled teacher or a more impactful writer....." as a way to deflect the responsibility of obedience. Or as a way to avoid fear of failure. Or both.

But, remember, God gave YOU talents and treasures that others don't possess. They are meant to be used. Perhaps clumsily or even inadequately, but it is not you who is really working them. God works through you. You are the steward, He is the giver. You begin but He finishes. 

Sisterhood at Christmas

Today I had a fabulous day that started out with me in tears. There are just days where I miss my sisters and mom. The day after Thanksgiving is one of them. I'm not sure why exactly. We didn't grow up with any definite traditions- no Black Friday madness or anything like that. But I just remember the feeling of that day always involved Christmas Spirit. It was like we opened the page of a book declaring the Christmas Season upon us and the festive nature enveloped us. Sometimes we cleaned the house and put out decorations. Sometimes we watched Christmas movies like Miracle on 34th Street or White Christmas. (Which incidentally has a whole silly song about sisters that I love to sing.) Sometimes we went out for a little bit of wandering in the mall and having Barnie's coffee- Santa's White Christmas- the official flavor of Christmas as declared by me. (Also the only downside to living in TN at Christmastime is the lack of Santa's White Christmas Barnie's coffee- FL friends feel free to mail me some!

So after  a brief tearful meltdown, and then instructions to my husband about not looking at me like I'm a weirdo when I'm crying about things that make no sense to him (he claims to have been marveling at the difference between men and women- I told him marvel on his own time- when your wife is crying you must look upon her with empathy and pat her hand and say "there, there") I decided I needed some girl time with my best girl. So I picked out some festive clothes for Em and we set off into the Black Friday world with no real pressure to accomplish one specific thing, but hoping to get a little shopping done while shaking off the blues.

Without even trying to we created a new tradition. I'm sure we'll be doing this for years to come. It was the first year Emma was old enough to be trusted with seeing the other family members gifts. (I think. I hope.) We giggled a lot about how silly the boys are and how much fun we were having without them. I told her the story of my tearful meltdown and how daddy shook his head at me in disbelief, and she said- "Oh mom, I know exactly what you're talking about. I've seen you with Aunt Anne- I know why you need your sister." Then later I found this really, ridiculously good deal on a case with 45 eye shadows. For $5. And I loved it. I was about to put it in the cart-

 "Mom, who are you getting that for?" 

"Um, well, I guess I was getting it for me." (she nods knowingly)

"That's what I thought. Guess you better put it back, huh?"

(gulp)"Yep, guess so. Thanks for keeping me honest."

Turns out the sisterhood I needed was available in my daughter. Amazing.